I'd Do Anything
by cecilia potter
Summary: Hermione is dissatisfied with herself and falls into trouble. Dedicated to everyone out there who has or has had an eating disorder. Rated R for questionable actions, and mild language. Read and Respond! WARNING! CHANCE OF TRIGGERING ED'S!
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has to do with Harry Potter. It all belongs to J.K Rowling.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I'd Do Anything  
  
Chapter 1: Prologue  
  
'Why do they feed us this fat-filled food? Do they actually expect me to eat this? Just looking at it makes me want to gag. Why am I even still here?'  
  
"Hermione, aren't you hungry?"  
  
Hermione looked into the curious face of Harry Potter, one of her two best friends. She had been staring at her empty plate, and bowl of dry salad, having not once touched it.  
  
"Actually, no, I'm not. I think I'm going to go to the common room to get some studying done. See you both later." Hermione got up from her seat, throwing a disgusted look at her other best friend, Ron Weasley, who was presently stuffing his face with everything he could get his hands onto.  
  
Hermione made her way through the corridors leading to the Gryffindor common room. When she finally made it to the portrait of the Fat Lady she paused to announce the password.  
  
"Snickers Bar." She wrinkled her nose at the thought of the new password and how many calories were in it. The headmaster had become infatuated with muggle candies over the summer.  
  
"Why aren't you at dinner, young lady?" The Fat Lady asked in a motherly tone.  
  
"I'm not feeling too well. I think I'm just going to lie down for a while," Hermione answered as the portrait swung open and she climbed inside.  
  
The common room was deserted, as would be expected during dinner time. Hermione climbed the stairs to her dormitory and fell upon her bed when she arrived. She sighed with pleasure. It sure was good to be back at Hogwarts. Back at home, her mother would pester her everyday about eating more. "Hermione, aren't you going to eat more then that?", "Honey, that's really not enough. You're going to start losing weight." And so on. Here, people would let her be. They had lives of their own to worry over.  
  
Hermione slid off her bed and walked over to the full length mirror hanging on the wall. Examining herself, she turned to her side and placed a hand on her stomach. She turned forward again and lifted up her shirt. She then turned to the other side and sucked in her stomach. Sighing, she let her breath out. If she was ever going to get the results she wanted she was going to have to work harder, have more will power. She was going to take control of her life.  
  
How was it that girls like Cho Chang got everything? Cho was popular, gorgeous and thin. How Hermione envied Cho. If only she could look like her. Then maybe she would get the same attention Cho got from the male population. Hermione knew what the guys thought of her. They thought that she was ugly and fat. There was no way around it.  
  
She would just work harder to improve upon herself. She would stop being lenient on herself. Only weak people can't control themselves, and Hermione was going to prove that she wasn't weak.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: Sorry it's so short, but I just wanted you all to get the idea of what this story is going to be about. I've been through this shit, and some other stuff, so this is first-hand. This story is going to be dedicated to everyone out there with an eating disorder. I'm sick of seeing Hermione portrayed as perfect, so this story will be a bit different. Please review and tell me what you think.  
  
*~*Cecilia*~* 


	2. Chapter 2: You Can't Make Me!

A/N: ***IMPORTANT!! At the end of this chapter, there is a paragraph that could become a trigger for people with or dangerously close to having eating disorders. I did not intend it to be so, but after I wrote it I realized the potential. Please be aware and skip the paragraph if you wish- there will be three stars before the paragraph and then three more stars when it is over.  
  
Disclaimer: See previous chapter. Nothing belongs to me!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I'd Do Anything  
  
Chapter 2: You Can't Make Me!  
  
It was now about a week into the school year and Hermione, Harry, and Ron were sitting in the otherwise deserted common room. Hermione was reading a rather large book while Harry and Ron played a competitive game of wizard chess.  
  
"Aha!"  
  
Both Hermione and Harry jumped at the unexpected noise. They both curiously glanced at Ron, the source of the eruption.  
  
"Checkmate! I've won! Good game, Harry."  
  
"What? How is that possible? What'd you do?" Harry asked while studying the chessboard, searching for his mistake.  
  
Pointing, Ron quickly explained, "See, Harry, although your rook and queen were protecting your king, my knight was able to travel from here to here and easily capture it."  
  
Harry, though thoroughly confused, nodded slowly and stood up from his seat. He covered his mouth as he yawned, and glanced at his watch.  
  
"Well, guys, its getting late. I s'pose I'll be heading to bed now."  
  
"Same here, you coming 'Mione?"  
  
"No, I think I'll stay here and read a while longer. Night," Hermione responded without even looking up from her book. In return she received a mumbled, "Night," from Ron, and, "See you in the morning, Hermie," from Harry.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next morning Hermione was not at breakfast, which was becoming pretty usual, but Harry and Ron both assumed she'd overslept, or something of the sort. They figured they'd meet her at their first class.  
  
When Harry and Ron walked into the Transfiguration room they were surprise to see Hermione already sitting there, flipping through her textbook. They walked over and took a seat on either side of her in the first row.  
  
"Hermione, why weren't you at breakfast?" Ron whispered, as to not gain the unwanted attention of their professor.  
  
"I was in the library looking something up." Hermione quickly replied.  
  
Harry and Ron looked sardonically at each other, over her bent head. Just then, the room started to rapidly fill with students and class started.  
  
After the trio's last morning class, they quickly went to the common room to put away their books before lunch. Ron and Harry turned to leave the room, but Hermione hesitated.  
  
"Aren't you coming, Herm?" Harry asked when he realized she wasn't following them. Hermione shook her head.  
  
"I think I'm going to stay here and study for our Herbology test this afternoon."  
  
"'Mione, you studied for that like crazy all week. Plus, you missed breakfast this morning, you need to eat something," Ron pointed out.  
  
"Who are you, my mother?" Hermione snapped angrily. Ron looked taken aback at the tone of her voice.  
  
"Hermione, we're just looking out for you, like friends should. Ron didn't mean anything offensive," Harry defended.  
  
"Fine," Hermione sighed, "let's go."  
  
At the Gryffindor table, Hermione looked around at all of the people stuffing their faces. Then, she looked at her own plate, which was bare. She was not going to eat anything, Hermione determined. It would be a test of her will power.  
  
"Hermie, aren't you going to eat?" Harry asked while swallowing a bite of food.  
  
"I'm not very hungry. My stomachs been bothering me lately." Hermione was surprised at how easily the lies rolled off her tongue.  
  
"Well, at least have some soup. It might help." Harry said while pouring some into a bowl and putting it in front of her.  
  
Hermione gritted her teeth. "No thanks."  
  
"'Mione, just eat a little," Ron suggested.  
  
"I said no!" Hermione yelled. Everyone in the hall turned to look her way, including the teachers. She quickly stood up and huffed out of the great hall. Harry and Ron both hurried after her, but couldn't find her anywhere.  
  
For the rest of the day Hermione avoided the two. In classes she wouldn't speak to them and would rush out of the room afterward so quickly that they couldn't keep up with her. After classes though, she was ambushed in her dormitory without noticing until it was too late.  
  
"Hermione, are you okay?" Harry asked worriedly.  
  
Hermione's heart skipped a beat. She couldn't let them find out was going on, they couldn't know! It would ruin everything! They would make her stop and tell someone!  
  
"I'm fine, why?"  
  
"You've been acting kind of strange lately." Ron said, while Harry nodded in agreement. Hermione grew more nervous. She needed to think of something quickly! Then it hit her. She chuckled slightly to be convincing.  
  
"Guys, I'm sorry I've been acting so odd. I just haven't been feeling too well lately, you know, PMS." She smiled inwardly as she saw them grow uncomfortable.  
  
"Oh, sorry," Ron said, his face as read as his hair. Harry nodded again because he couldn't think of anything to say.  
  
"So," he started, trying to get away from the subject, "you coming down to dinner?"  
  
Hermione hesitated, fighting a conflict inside herself. She had to be careful now, that was too close! If she went to dinner though, she would have to eat something! Then it dawned on her. Why hadn't she thought of it before? It was so simple! She smiled at both of her friends.  
  
"Sure, let's go."  
  
(A/N: hmmm... Should I leave you here? It's a good place to leave off... Nah, its too short.)  
  
At dinner, the boys piled their plates sky-high as usual. Hermione looked over the food on the table and sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. Tentatively, she put some salad in her bowl and left it dry. She looked at the fried chicken and almost gagged. Definitely skipping that. Mashed potatoes were out of the question, too many carbs. She finally settled on a small piece of salmon and a tiny pile of green beans. Slowly, she started picking at her food, every once in a while looking around to make sure nobody saw her eating, adding to her already repulsive weight.  
  
By the time that dinner was over, Hermione noticed she had eaten a grossly large amount, half, of her food. She pushed her plate away from her, revolted by it.  
  
"Hey, guys," she said to Harry and Ron, who were engaged in a quidditch conversation with Dean and Ginny, "I'll be in the common room, alright, I'm a bit tired." Her friends nodded and she walked out of the hall.  
  
***Hermione went through the common room and into her dormitory. She was so glad she had thought of this. Thank Merlin she had overheard Parvati and Lavender talking about Parvati's cousin one day, or she might never have though to try this. She entered the bathroom and locked the door behind her, placing a silencing charm around the room. She knelt in front of the toilet and took a deep breath, steadying herself. How did Parvati say her cousin did it again? Ah, right. Slowly, she slid her index and middle fingers into her mouth and slightly down her throat. Determinedly, she started moving her fingers about, tickling her throat. She gagged, but didn't stop. Finally, everything she had eaten came rushing back up and into the toilet. After she was sure that she couldn't get anything else up, she slipped her fingers out of her mouth and sighed. Her throat stung, her eyes watered, her nose was running, but she felt happy. She felt, empty. ***  
  
After a moment, she stood up and washed her face and hands. She flushed the toilet, watching the enemy disappear. She took the silencing charm off of the bathroom and sighed as she made her way down to the common room.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: First off, thank you for the reviews and I'm looking forward to some more. Secondly, after writing this chapter, I had some doubts about the ending, but I decided to post it. I'm sorry if it causes you any discomfort, but it's something that affects many girls, and some guys. There will be more of this kind of material in the future of this story, just as a warning. Please let me know what you think of this chapter in a review!!  
  
*~*Cecilia*~* 


End file.
